I have never been in a situation like this. The heart had never commanded so, to get to make things more absurd, the most incomprehensible, the less logic, which clearly going to take everything to collapse, which was finally and irrevocably.
In some ways it was predictable. While times were good, some feelings of calm, cool, always end it was something new in his head that had the heart to feel bad and needs repair, and each of these new attempts rather than repair, so was breaking more and more until the day that was irreparable, at least for words. Hopefully the time to do the job.
Anyway, it's a horrible feeling, rather than a broken heart so are the hopes, feelings, the soul. Is incomprehensible that the fate of so temperamental acting to change a relationship in a way so impressive that he be allowed within ten days of absolute love and closeness, in which we were almost one, to an almost hatred and a need and desire to distance Today we have light years of each other, and requiring that, at the bottom, actually.
No need to forgive, as I said, more self heal, I know. Know how. I have received many tips that have not made final but that mixed up. In the beginning of the end I thought maybe it would have been better not say anything to anyone, but I think I would have gone crazier than I am today. I thank God with all my heart for putting all these people on my side this week, by the time the words and the support they gave me, just so I apologize if anything I said something inappropriate or harm them on the road. With all my heart, I'm sorry. I was selfish in many times, superimposing my pain to their needs. Once again, thanks for your company and I apologize for my selfishness.
Of course, we got to the point where the cliché phrase appears again: time will tell, the distance is necessary. My rational side of me is confirmed dead, but my soul is so thirsty for it and hopefully do my best because I do take new steps to false, and continue to ruin everything. Certainly it was not just my fault, but still I have it. I know I should not have insisted, much of the world told me: "Leave her alone, give it time, wait." At this point I will eventually, but sadly probably not by choice but because it is the last and only option for this not lead us to a place even worse. It pains me immeasurably to be in this situation, having come to this. My body and my mind betrayed me, making me wait for things that no longer corresponded, which were of a last stage. The problem is that the stage was so recent that my body and my mind unable to assimilate the change in time. What might be a tight hug and a kiss, he became an insurmountable barrier in their compassionate touch, pain on our faces inevitable. What were once an affectionate greeting, words of love, hope, tenderness, words became hard, dry, without feeling, commitment, obligation, resentment, impatience, exasperation and indifference ... to infinity.
time we meet, for better or for worse. I sincerely hope to show me the way to heal my wounds, and also ours. With the pain and despair are born so horrible and selfish attitudes, from which eventually leads to a vicious cycle of accusations of close-minded, not to think about the other. One strip shit without thinking, reach the point where it does not matter what the other feels, in order to make yourself feel a little better. At this point realize that this feeling is absolutely false temporary and that after going over all the disgusting thing that happened, the words sour, hard, serve only to wonder how on earth we were able to treat us well after so many beautiful moments.
Again I apologize to you, if you read this. I know you probably hate to tell you about this, but I'm sorry, was born of the soul it is always easier, more spontaneous, to speak from the pain. I never wanted to get to this point, but there is nothing to do but wait. I will pray for the time give us the ability to recover, heal, and pray more fervently for the future opportunity, and hopefully not so distant, to meet again, either as acquaintances, friends, boyfriends, co-workers: what will be well just to have the chance re-enter your life, if I left, because mine never going to leave.
I care and love you more than anyone, you know. I want the best for you. I know this will be.
